Relocating & Roadwork

So here I am, back from a two-day layoff due to nasty headaches and being broken down in general. At least, my blood pressure dipped down a bit from before, so there's a minor victory for me.

I'll be relocating to Shah Alam pretty soon, joining other family members. We used to call Port Klang home for the past...20 something years. So imagine the stuff that piled up during all those time. Damn, got overwhelmed just thinking about it. So many things to pack, so much to do at the new home...it's all tiring. Yet, there is some excitement. I have surveyed the new home, looks like a nice enough place to be.

I guess I was possessed by some kind of demon or something, 'cause yesterday was the first time I actually jog since...gosh, was it 1999? Shame. I alternated walking & jogging in a distance of 2km, and capped it off running upwards on a long flight of stairs. Then I dusted off the skipping rope, doing three sets of fifty jumps. Yes I'm insane. And yes, my leg's pretty sore today.

The people in my neighborhood were amused by the sight of a portly grumpy man, huffing and puffing along the roadside in the name of health. I saw some old folks jog and doing Tai Chi too. Damn, they'd kick my ass pretty easily. I dread the day the old auntie waves at me, attacking me with a chi blast accidentally.

Don't know if I can keep this routine up, though. I certainly felt good afterwards...but super-thirsty at the same time. It took a mountain of will not to veer off at the nearby 7-11 for a canned drink or a Cornetto. Mmm...a Cornetto Royale ain't so bad...*resolve melted away immediately*

"This is Sparta!"

Last Friday (9th March '07), I went to see 300 with my comrade, William. Last movie we watched was Three which was...sometime in 2001, I guess? Maybe the next time I drag him to the cinemas, there might be a movie called Tiga Juta or something.

Anyways, 300 was...a great cinematic feast. But not entirely without faults. Visually, the movie is simply stunning. The Spartans were appropriately king-sized in their badassness. The violence was rather excessive from the get go, by the time movie ends you'd feel neutral to it. Some cuts to the movie hurt the flow a little bit. Way too much of slow-mo shots. But overall, a movie worth the trip to the cinemas for - definitely not for the kids, though.

After that, me and Willie went to nearby mamak to lepak & catch up. The usual topics came up, but Mr.William makes it entertaining as always. I also recapped to Will the recent reunion dinner in KLCC a few weeks prior. Later went home close to 3am....and on the way, I had forgotten that I have to go out to work a few hours later - and needed to go home to Port Klang after that. As it turns out, it became a tiring weekend for me. Swell.

Wishing for proper ends.

A rational being would understand that every beginning has an end. Nothing lasts forever. Well, I guess one of my weaknesses is: I have no idea how to say 'goodbye'. A proper goodbye, without leaving behind all those poisonous elements.

When the time comes to part, I'd always...feel awkward. At the most, I'd briefly exchange last words, turned the other way and disappear. An abrupt & swift ending, every time.

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(From a past chapter)
Despite the shock of that moment, I shouldn't have ended that chapter on a bitter note. I wished that, even though destiny takes us on different paths...we'll be able to encounter each other again. With our chosen ones, we'd compare notes on life, love and everything in between. It wasn't to be. Feeling helpless among the crowd, I prayed silently.

(On an earlier chapter)
While the last sight of them was the true picture of long-lasting love & happiness...I still lament the fact that I didn't get to see them for the final time. To see them...and to say...I don't even know what I would actually say, in fact. Forget about words, I just wanted to glimpse upon them...just once more.

Instead, all I see are the newly erected tombs. God bless their souls.

(Then, a rather recent chapter)
Once again, a fresh grave greets my presence. However, this didn't affect me as deeply as the others - for it was a sweet release after suffering for so long. Still - as the rain finally stopped - I prayed.

(And yet another chapter, in the past year)
A 30-year old fortress crumbles before my very eyes. And the prodigious shadow that loomed over me since the very beginning, fell prey to the demons. Again. And amidst all this, I stood wearily & reluctantly. The role I had to play in this chapter, I despise it so. Then again, who else would?

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I realized that often times, events occur without warning...precious things whisked away from our grasp in a blink of an eye. As for me, I will have to embark on a lone journey once again in the near future. I hope when I have the opportunity to delay fate just a little, I would be able to say:

"Thank you for everything. You've been great to me this many, many years. Take good care of yourself, and maybe we'll encounter each other again...growing wiser and achieving the things we wanted in life. For now, GOODBYE."

Doing otherwise would leave an everlasting taste of regret. Maybe feeling just like that day, a couple of years back.

No, not maybe. I did. I still do.