For me to be myself.

Numbness in my hands accompany me as I woke up. Without letting panic set in, I slowly shake my arms to let the blood flow smoothly. After that tiring session yesterday, I contemplated to just continue lying in bed. After a few seconds, I squashed that thought. Agh, even tooth-brushing seemed like an olympian task in this current state.

Ever since that weird week, somehow I caught flashes of the past. My old me. The person I thought I always want to be. It'll take a long, long road to reach that level again...at least, yesterday's session, as grueling as it seems then, is nowhere near the norm in '96 & '97.

I have no foes to vanquish & no titles to contend for...I'm just giving myself a chance. Some things went out of my grasp...the painful reminder of that lingers on. On the other hand, just reminiscing about it takes me nowhere. I must do something.

I found out that when I reached the limit, and push it just slightly beyond...man, that felt good. Even if that means I would feel sore the next day. I just did what I could. Regaining whatever spirit I had left from yesteryear. To be myself.

Missing piece of puzzle? Finally.

Al mentions to me that it's possible. Small steps will be taken to achieve that goal. I can, and I will. Believe.

This morning: unconsciously, I performed the Association's Dance which I had abandoned long ago. Like a handshake from a long lost friend, I felt...at ease. I wondered why I had leave that behind in the first place. It used to be everything...the world, the Milky Way, the Tao of my life. That's where some of Life's harsher lessons & realities slapped me in the face.

Should I awake him again? Through some 'trials' it's definitely possible. Maybe not like before, though. As I gaze onto the mirror, the reflection smiles back.

"Anytime you are ready."

Remembrance.

Two years.

It has been that long since the day when the angel left this plane of existence. I had almost forgotten about it...I wondered whether that would make me a heartless sod, or maybe I had finally overcame it.

Lady sunshine whispered her words of wisdom: "...you have finally moved on."

Don't get yourself bogged down with the pain, she went on. That's right, I got used to that pain like the others that I live with for most of my life. She's right. I'll move on.

There was a time...when I'd do anything just to see the smile upon the angel's face. The smile is no longer within my sight or reach. Now, I'm just content to let her memories buried in the deepest part of my mind.

Will there be another? If fate agrees, why not. Right now, the sky is empty.